Look at Me

How annoyed, disappointed, frustrated and angry do we get with ourselves when our emotions come out of their suppression and demand, “Look at me”?

This can happen at the most inconvenient of times, just before we arrive at work, at a wedding, funeral, 5 minutes before an important meeting or a deadline, and even Christmas day.

The emotion is in “Look at me” mode and this means that it is bubbling up and the control we have exercised either knowingly or unconsciously is now rendered useless. Any well meaning person who comes up to us and asks “Are you ok? “ will unwittingly be faced with tears or the emotional distress felt.

The feeling that we have spent our energy on supressing has now revealed it’s “Look at me” status and is preparing to leave encompassed with the vulnerability that comes attached to it. This is where our fight or flight mechanism usually comes in.  We either fight with all our might back the tears, anger, frustration, disappointment etc, wrestling away with it until it is once again supressed within the realms of our body and self control or we fly away as fast as possible by we g hiding in our room, under our desk, in a glass of red wine, on Facebook, etc. etc. until the ghost of our emotional past feels so far away that even Scooby doo couldn’t pick up on it.  This may take a few sips of wine, mouthfuls of chocolate or picking up all the dropped paper clips under your desk but sooner or later it feels slammed back far enough in your subconscious that you can face Jenny at the photocopier again.

However is this really giving us the peace we seek in our lives by denying or fighting those moments when our emotions speak “Look at me”?  When we look and feel our emotions the process may be momentarily painful (as we flail around in our vulnerability), but we feel a deeper peace when we surrender to it, letting it flow out, unhindered and fully expressed.  If we are gentle with ourselves and drop the self-judgment afterwards we may notice we feel lighter for the experience.

Appointments are available with Kathy for your “Look at me” emotions today.

Call 0407968300 for you booking today 

The Pain of Pretending

When growing up our conditioning leads us to the world of pretending. We pretend to smile when we would rather grit our teeth, pretend to laugh when truly upset, pretend to care when actually we don’t, pretend that it is ok to do a job that makes our heart die a little each day.

When does the pretend, come to an end?

For some, never, for others when the pain it takes to pretend is realised and to carry on with the illusion of it all becomes purely unbearable. For me this happened a year ago when I faced something in my family that I had been pretending wasn’t there. The pain of facing the truth paled in comparison to the weight of carrying the lie, one single step further into the creation of my life.

The act of facing this pretence leads to other areas of life that are pretended being de-masked for the illusion they are. Each pretence faced leads to a greater freedom in the simplicity of being nothing but our self.

The pain of pretending acts like jail bars around our existence and when we find the courage and humility to let the pretence go, the bars dissolve and leave us in the expanse of life.

But, I love you

How many of us have heard this after someone has given us a mouthful of opinion and judgement?

How many of us have heard ourselves say this after we have given a mouthful of opinion and judgement?

What do we mean by but, I love you?

There are varying forms of but, I love you.

These can be:

but, I am only telling you what you need to hear

but, I am only doing this for your own good

but, I still care about you

but, I still think you are a lovely person

But is love this?

Do we feel love for another after we judge, criticise, envy, minimalize, scrutinize, or measure?

Do we feel love from another when we are judged, criticise, envy, minimalize, scrutinize, or measure?

How would our communication with others change if we started by asking ourselves am I loving you or end with did I love you?

How would communication change from others if they say but, I love you and we ask how?

The Workplace

Amy is feeling a little tired and her Mum decides to take her to work for the day. Amy has never been or met anyone at her Mum's work before, so everyone and everything is new to her. At the end of the day on the car ride home 4year old Amy shares what she has observed with her mother. 

Jan speaks softly in a nice polite tone but underneath it all Mummy Jan is really really angry about something.

Sue, Amy can feel judges people all day long but if you pass her tests Mummy she likes you.

June comes across as gruff and Mummy I think she scares the others but wouldn't actually hurt a fly.

Sally the boss's daughter who runs the place Mummy, likes to please everyone but the others don't seem to be pleased by what she does, even if they asked for it Mummy. 

Annabelle is firm, listens and helps others. Mummy people at your work like her cause she is good and follows the rules.

Jessica seems loud Mummy, she likes people to listen to what she has to say and she likes to let them know what is the thing to best to do. When I look at her Mummy she looks big on the outside but small on the inside.

Monica loves to make lots of coffee and talk, she knows a lot about everyone Mummy. She tells other people about what the other people have talked to her about, but she never talks about her life Mummy. I love her red fingernails.

Greg the big boss doesn't seem to be happy with the work people do, then he becomes grumpy and feels sad after he gets grumpy at someone. 

The people who don't have names, and everyone calls Trainees just get told what to do all day long Mummy. They are asked to do the jobs that aren't much fun, and everyone likes to be their boss.

Mummy you seem to be the one that everyone likes because you are the same here as you are at home. I love you mummy.

Mummy how come you aren't like them? Amy questions.

Like who? Amy's Mum asks.

Like your work people? Amy says.

We are all like them Amy, Mummy can find a bit of everybody in her and that helps me understands that I am no different to the bits of the people I work with.