Vehicle of Life

Vehicle of Life

Our lives are like our cars. When we ignore the rattle we can hear in the motor, what started out as a small issue with a small solution can turn into a massive issue requiring an equally massive solution.  The cost of repairs can be huge and the disruption it causes can take you of the road for a while.   

 The way we treat our cars can reveal how we treat ourselves, if we neglect giving our cars a regular service, keeping it clean and tidy and full of fuel our lives are likely to reflect this by finding we are low in energy, and not taking care of our internal and external health and well being.   

If we are spending all our efforts keeping our car perfectly clean and tidy, installing it with the latest gadgets and worrying about the slightest mark, chip or possibility of an accident then our lives are likely to reflect this by spending more time on outward appearances, trying to control outcomes, and making decisions in life which are based on “what if’s” (fear of outcomes).

When we ignore our actions in life through non-observation we are not able to travel on the road of life as efficiently because we are either safely tucked in our garage out of fear or broken down on the side of the road out of neglect.

We need to look at why we are ignoring the vehicle that gives us the freedom to travel on the road of life. In other words by observing ourselves and our actions we begin to discover how well we are motoring on in life and where there is a rattle that may need fixing or where we need to relax and let go of control.  There are times when we may need some roadside assistance like the RACQ service in life, this is not about getting others to be responsible for you it’s about you being self responsible for gaining the service you need to get yourself back on the road. Happy Travels............

Possession

Possession

What does it mean to possess something? Imagine that the thing/s you are trying to possess in life are like a Butterfly. The more you try to capture it, the more you damage its ability to fly willingly towards you and the opportunity to enjoy the simple beauty of it. When you capture a butterfly with your hands are you really able to enjoy its beauty, because all your energy is focused on your hands being clasped tightly around it so you do not lose it?

What does it mean for something to possess us? Well it might feel nice to have the attention, or it might feel good to have the security that thing offers, be it a person, a drink, chocolate etc. but does it damage your ability, like the butterfly, to fly, be free or allow you to enjoy the simply beauty of the thing that possesses you? Do instead of feeling nurtured by it you grow to resent it?

What drives us to want to possess something is it love or fear? If you asked someone why they wanted to have (possess) that new car, better job, new shoes, boyfriend, girlfriend  etc etc or be possessed by that new car, better job, new shoes boyfriend, girlfriend etc etc most would reply because they love it but is this really love?

Can you look at the fears that you are possessed by or drive you to possess? Can you simply sit quietly and observe the fear attached to possession? Would you then become aware that you perhaps are like the butterfly and so are the things and people that fly in and out of your life?

“You can chase a butterfly all over a field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder” Author Unknown

Kathy Wise

Keeping Secrets

A day at the shops, Eve loved it because her mummy would always buy her a little chocolate to nibble on the way home. Eve was four and she enjoyed sitting in the trolley and being wheeled up and down the food aisle when grocery shopping with her Mummy. Often she would ask for things that jumped out at her but Mummy would usually say no which sometimes made her feel cross but she had learned that if she sat still enough Mummy would usually buy a chocolate for her as they were going through the checkout. On this particular day Eve had sat still for most of the grocery shop so Mummy had bought her a treat. They left the shop and started toward the direction of where the car was parked. All of a sudden Eves mum stopped outside the window of a shoe store. Eve noticed her Mum was looking at a pair of red shoes the same way Eve looked at the things that jumped out at her in the Grocery Shop. They entered the shop and Eve watched as her Mum tried on the pretty pair of shoes and a lady with funny frizzy hair helped her. The frizzy hair lady told Eve’s Mummy they were the latest, and so Mummy gave her lots of money so she could have them. When they got home Eve helped her Mummy as best she could unpack the groceries and then followed her Mummy into her and Dad’s bedroom. Eve loved how her Mummy smiled when sat down on the edge of the bed and once again tried on the pretty red shoes; they seemed to make her Mummy very happy. She then took them off and Eve watched as her mummy hid them under some jumpers on the top shelf of the place where mummy kept her clothes. Eve’s Mum felt Eve watching her, “Let’s keep these shoes as our little secret, so we won’t tell Daddy about them ok?” Puzzled Eve asked why can’t I. Eve’s mum replied because sometimes it’s best not to tell people things in case it makes them angry, so imagine this secret is a treasure and you are the special box that keeps it safe. It made Eve feel funny to think that something that was so pretty and made her mummy smile could make her daddy angry, but she trusted her Mummy and she didn’t like making her Daddy angry so she decided to be a very helpful treasure box and keep her Mum’s secret safe.  

24 years on, and Eve hides any new shoes she buys at the back of the cupboard so her boyfriend can’t see them; she keeps a stash of lollies & chips hidden under some files in her office desk drawer so that her co-workers won’t know how much junk she eats, but mostly what Eve hides  is  how she feels. The treasure box of secrets that Eve agreed to be all those years ago feels more like a ball and chain around her ankles. Eve decides to discuss how she feels with her mother as she can no longer stand the burden of hiding things away. After two cups of tea and some in depth honest conversation between Eve and her mother, Eve comes to the realisation that she has hidden a large part of herself away through fear. Eve decides it is time to get honest with herself and those around here so that she is no longer a treasure box of secrets but simply just a treasure.

The Doors

The Doors

Sally fell into bed after working a full day at the office, she lay there exhausted not only from her day but from life itself.  Every cell of her body felt full and heavy and she wondered why, as she collapsed into her slumber. ........... Sally became conscious of standing in the centre of white circular room with doors evenly spaced around the walls.  All except one of the doors had a label, and as Sally viewed the doors her curiosity as to what lay behind them grew to engulf the fear she felt in opening them.  The first door she opened was labelled “Material”, Sally was taken aback to see herself in action in her material world.  Sally watched the actions she had taken to amass the car she drove, the clothes she wore and all the items that made her house the way it was.  She was amazed to see herself get what she wanted but only for short term joy, and although she could see her life was full of things it appeared so empty. 

 Sally closed the door, and opened the door labelled “Physical” only to find her-self viewing the way she treated her body.  Sally had never noticed how many bottles of wine she consumed in a week because she felt she needed to relax, or how most of her meals consisted of takeout or were skipped because she didn’t have time.  Sally couldn’t believe how much time she spent inside at home in front of the TV or at work in front of her computer; she wondered how she could feel so tired from physically doing so little.

 Sally closed the door and opened the next door labelled “Mental” she was stunned as she watched and listened to exactly what and how often she thought in the course of a normal day. Sally witnessed how she scrutinized herself in all areas and did the same to others; she saw how many times she thought but did not speak what she really wanted to say. Her biggest surprise was how she measured herself against others and the pleasure or disappointment this brought her.  As she shut the door Sally recognised that a lot of her thoughts had nothing to do with how she really felt inside; even though they came from her they didn’t truly feel like her. 

 Finally Sally opened the last door which had no label, for Sally this was the most difficult because everything she had ever known had always had a label attached to it. As she cautiously peered around the door to see what lay behind it she was surprised to find a white room that appeared to have no structure to it she felt drawn to enter and was surprised to find a package with her name on it and a small note attached. Sally opened the package to find a pair of glasses inside, they appeared to have mirrored lenses both ways. When Sally put them on she noticed that she could see the room but she could also see herself, confused she took them off and read the note. Sally, when you view yourself, you view the world. When you view your world you view yourself. When you reflect the love within yourself Sally, you see the world reflect the love in you, when you reflect the non-love within yourself Sally you see the world reflect the non-love in you. These glasses are your truth Sally and no-one can take them from you.

 Sally awoke and immediately felt her face and noticed that the glasses had disappeared but the awareness of the truth within her remained. 

The Tear

                            The Tear

A tiny crystal droplet was running down my cheek
cascading as a ripple then another tried to sneak
falling from my eyes like dewdrops
born of past emotions that run like a river deep

The tear mourns and cries relentless to the one I seek
as I sit and pray in silence to a heart that eternally weeps
please my love to return to me
as my wanting never sleeps

Kathy Wise

Unstuck

Unstuck

Why do we put so much energy into not becoming unstuck? If we are avoiding being unstuck doesn’t it mean we are actively choosing to be stuck in something?  For example Penny is really struggling at work; the pressure she is under from her boss to perform to her exact standards is high.  Penny’s boss approaches her with criticisms about a report she sent; Penny apologises profusely and straight away returns to her work as she doesn’t want to appear unstuck to her boss.  When Penny hops in the car to pick up her children she has little cry and then tells herself to pull it together because she doesn’t want her children to see her unstuck. While Penny is waiting outside the school her friend Mary walks up and asks how Penny is going, she replies that she is good and everything is going well as she doesn’t want Mary to witness her unstuck. Later Penny cooks a lovely dinner for her husband and children, does the washing, irons her husband’s shirt and packs tomorrow’s school lunches. Penny tells her husband to go off to bed and she’ll be in soon, when he has gone she opens the bottle of red wine hidden in the back of the cupboard as she doesn’t want her husband to suspect she is unstuck.

Why does Penny feel so ashamed of being unstuck?

What is she avoiding by being honest with herself and those around her?

How is her avoidance causing her further pain and suffering?

If Penny is avoiding judgement isn’t she already experiencing the very thing she wishes to avoid in judging herself and the way she feels as not ok?

When we come unstuck it is our inner self alerting us to the fact that we are stuck. By becoming unstuck we allow ourselves to express what we have been feeling stuck in. If we can express this feeling/s without the need to justify, we then have the opportunity to stick to being our true selves. The focus then naturally becomes sticking to our own awareness rather than being stuck to the assumptions of how others may view us.

When Harry Met Sally

When Harry Met Sally

When Harry met Sally he could not believe his luck. Sally was everything that Harry had ever wanted in a girl, open, honest, creative and playful.  When Sally met Harry she finally felt like she could  be happy. Harry was everything that Sally had ever wanted in a guy, caring, thoughtful, supportive, and adventurous. The two felt smitten with each other and could see no wrong in the other.

 One day Sally said something to Harry that reminded him of the way his mother used to criticise him.  Harry then reacted in a way that reminded Sally of the angry tone her father used to speak to her.  All of a sudden Harry started to notice things in Sally that he wasn’t aware of before and Sally started to see things in Harry that she hadn’t recognised before.

 They both tried to push this away but as time went on they discovered more about each other that made them feel angry, hurt and misunderstood.  Soon both Harry and Sally felt like two different people. Harry noticed he got impatient easily and tried to control what Sally did.  Sally observed that she would cry over littlest of things and compromise for the sake of peace.

One morning they both happened to enter their bathroom at the same time to brush their teeth.  As each of them looked at their reflection a small voice inside of them asked “Is this really me?” and then “Is what I think of another really them?”  Harry looked at Sally and Sally gazed back at Harry, they both said “sorry” in unison together.

Harry and Sally traced back to the point when their relationship started to change.  Harry spoke openly about the criticism he received from his mother in his childhood and Sally shared her feelings around the anger she experienced growing up with her father.  As they listened to each other they felt the wall that existed between them crumble and dissolve.  All of a sudden Harry started to notice things in Sally that he was aware of before and Sally started to see things in Harry that she had recognised before.

“No external source can ever be blamed for our emotions, as all our responses to external experiences reveal the state of our inner being” Mike Robinson author of The True Dynamics of Relationships

Amnesia Angel

Amnesia Angel

What if you were an Angel who bumped your head when falling from heaven and couldn’t remember why on earth you were here?

How would you be able to recognise how special you are and the purpose you came with?

Would you know you have lost your memory because you gossip about other people when they aren’t with you, or would you know because you think judgemental thoughts about yourself and others?  Could it be that you remember when you work so much you have no time for your family or yourself anymore?  Maybe it’s when you use others only for what you can get from them or maybe is it constantly pleasing and compromising your truth for others?

How would you remember the angel forgotten within?

If there is a God how would he possibly bring you around to remember who you truly are?

Would you start to remember because you truly listen to yourself and others, or would it be due to you spending time in nature to clear your thoughts? Could it be that you remember when you work at what you love and spend time with those you care about or could it be when you finally create a space in your life to heal and grow?  Maybe it’s when you are truly unconditional in loving yourself and others or set pure boundaries in what you are willing and not willing to experience in all relationships?

Would you now remember how special you are?

If there is a God would he still need to remind you that you were an angel?

 Or would the true acts of service to yourself and others be all you ever needed to remind you that you have a purpose here?

Married to the Process Divorced from the Result

Married to the Process

 Divorced from the Result

Most of us have been taught from a very early age to divide things into good or bad and our decision making processes have followed the same route. When we make a decision it is then labelled as “good” if the outcomes are pleasurable and “bad” if the outcome causes pain. What started out as a good decision can turn into a bad one and what started out as a bad decision can end up being good. But what makes a good decision good and a bad decision bad, and what part of ourselves is deciding this for us? What constitutes the actual criteria for a bad decision and do we ever give the results of our decisions the credit they deserve before we full stop them and label them as good/bad. In life many of us have made decisions that bought us pleasure and pain but each decision has in some way offered us an opportunity in showing us more about ourselves and how we operate in this world. The most limiting decision is one that is made with a desired result attached because it cannot foster the inspiration and action required in being able to reach its full potential. When we make choices in life we need to be aware of whether we are making them from a point of being married to the process but divorced from the result. In life sometimes we are not sure what is intuitively best for our needs because we are in a place of operating from desire of the ego rather than desire of the heart. Each decision that we make will offer the opportunity to observe the answer. So it may take a so called “bad decision” to enlighten us of what we are doing or what part of our ego we need to let go of and it may take a “good decision” to do the same. In the end it is just a decision. One that will, in some way, help us become aware of what we are married to and divorced from.

Who did you put your lipstick on for this morning

Who did you put your lipstick on for this morning?

Have you ever stopped yourself in the middle of an act and asked yourself who or what am I doing this for?  What would your answer reveal to you? When you woke up this morning and got dressed did you put on your skinny jeans so that the cute guy you noticed at the coffee shop yesterday, notices you today? Did you comb your hair so the other mothers at school don’t think you look untidy and don’t “have it all together”? Did you dress in an outfit that made it look like you know what you are doing at work? Or did you put on an invisible mask so that all your married friends wouldn’t know that your husband is cheating on you?

Why you may care in how you look becomes more about the beliefs and judgement of others. Then consequently avoiding how these beliefs and judgements then cause you to feel. The feeling therefore is the thing we fear most, not the actual judgement. Even not caring for how you appear, is an unconscious call to gain attention to the external. Is looking after yourself ever really just about you? How do you actually learn how to love yourself not because you have to out of fear, but because you appreciate yourself enough to actually want to?

If you started your day in observation of the acts you made and became aware of why you do what you do, the acts would reveal the driver behind them. For example when you go to put your lipstick on what thoughts did you think? Why do you think them? Why do you believe them? And why do you listen to them? This is about caring for you in what you do, and why you do it. Look at the fear that binds you to the thinking and feeling that you are not enough, with or without your make-up, skinny jeans or perfect body. Start to become conscious of who you are trying to please in life and why? Honour who you are by taking care of your needs and the action required in facilitating a more loving and accepting take on yourself.  

“I’ll have the $50 Chanel Lippy thanks with the $10 Target jeans, God I Love Me!!!”

Part 2 Create your Heaven in 2011

The next course in Creating your Heaven in 2011 will be held on the 1^st of May 9:30am to 2:30pm at 2B James Street Toowoomba.

 This one day course will look at refining what it is you really desire in your life, and assist you in being specific about achieving the dreams you hold for yourself. This gentle approach to goal setting takes an honest view of your life and reveals what discourages the perfect life. The perfect life, that is perfectly unique to you.

To Book Phone 0407 968 300

Date May 1^st 2011

Investment $135

Time 9:30am to 2:30pm

Place 2B James Street Toowoomba

Kathy Wise will facilitate the course and provide food & refreshments for the day!

 Come prepared with notebook and pen

Missed the first course?

Never mind catch up consultations are available. So book today!

Numbers are limited to ensure personal consideration to each participant.

“Kathy’s guidance helped me immediately begin on a different path. I have made many fantastic changes in a very short time. While I know there is no quick fix, I feel from my heart that the changes I have made are permanent. I am eternally grateful. “ Linda

Happy for you to pass on info of this course to friends etc...